You know, for someone who's been writing about makeup for more than a year now, I sure have a lot of beauty phobias. TALK ABOUT UNQUALIFIED.
I've got this crippling sense of self-awareness you see, so much that as consequence, I'm pretty awkward in real life. And, I've previously mentioned my lipstick phobia in this post, but ladies
1 | The Red Lip
EXPECTATION: People are staring at my lips? WHY ARE THEY STARING MY LIPS?? IS MY LIP COLOUR ALL OVER MY FACE?? AM I THE JOKER??? I CAN COLOUR WITHIN THE LINES BEYOND PRESCHOOL LEVEL I SWEAR. Am I at least ~slaying~ in this lip colour though??
REALITY: I think to some extent, everyone is afraid of the red lip. Sometimes when I'm feeling ~ever-so-confident~, I dab a bit of red lipstick on, and I have to say, I look/feel like a ~BAMF~ (Bad Ass M-----f--ker). I even once got a compliment from my mom, "That (red) lipstick suits you". NEVERMIND THAT I HAD THE SHEEREST AMOUNT ON MY LIPS, BUT I'M ON MY WAY, Y'KNOW?
2 | Nail Polish
THOUGHT PROCESS: This colour is bangin' but why are my nails so oddly shaped? I BLAME 10 YEAR-OLD ME WHO COULDN'T CUT HER NAILS PROPERLY. WHY DOESN'T THIS POLISH EVEN SET PROPERLY? FABRIC IMPRINTS DON'T COUNT AS NAIL ART. -shoves polish bottle into depths of drawer, where it is found a year later and by then has become unusable (i.e. separated gloop)-
REALITY: Well, most of the thought process is true. AND, I painted my nails black once. SANS BASECOAT. Black nail polish is all fun and games until you realise it stains for a month and you look like you've freshly clawed yourself out of a grave.
3 | Bright + Glittery Eyeshadows
THOUGHT PROCESS: The eyes are the window to the soul. Too bad I'm dead inside. -slaps on 50 shades of black-
REALITY: Coloured lower liner is actually really pretty, on like, everyone (scientifically proven by me). While I may not be bold enough to pile on fuschia/neon yellow/electric green in my lids, I can at least slap it along the lower lashline to prove that I'm at least somewhat of an exciting person.
4 | Curling Hair
THOUGHT PROCESS: WHAT IF I DON'T LEAVE MY HAIR ON THE CURLING IRON FOR LONG ENOUGH? WHAT IF I LEAVE IT ON FOR TOO LONG AND SINGE HALF MY HAIR OFF??....holy sht the smell of burning hair smells good. WHY ARE MY CURLS FALLING OUT EVEN THOUGH I USED HALF A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY?? WHERE'S MY HAIRPORN MOMENT????
REALITY: I really really like the look of wavy hair/loose curls on me...but they last half hour on me, tops. But in that half hour, I like to pretend that I'm a ~BABE~. Was that half hour worth me risking my fingers getting burnt because I'm an amateur??
What are your beauty phobias?