So here's a story—a few weeks before my 23rd birthday (which was earlier this month, hah), I was feeling a touch concerned about my dating life. Or really, lack of. Twenty-three, and I've never been on a single date—was I that hideous? (Don't answer that)
So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and started an online dating profile...
..........and ended up ~NOPING THE FUQ OUT~ when I had to fill in the "self-summary", "what I'm doing with my life", and "I’m really good at" questions because I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE???? (Although in hindsight, I should've expected this; I mean, it's not like people choose to date other people based purely off looks!!11!!!)
And heck, even the idea of being on an online site was uncomfortable for me—it was kinda like a human buffet, in a non-Hannibal-y way. Truth be told, the only reason why I wanted to create an account was to take a peek at the profile of one specific guy—a guy who actually sat directly in front of me for one of my classes in high school freshman year (I transferred high schools after my first year). He ended up going to the same university campus as me, and had I gone to my convocation, I would've seen him because he was also graduating at the same damn ceremony. What the bloody hell.
But yeah, I was quite surprised to see that 1) hot fiddly damn, puberty has treated him well, and 2) HE'S CUTE AF AND STILL SINGLE???? HOW?? I had promised to send screenshots of his profile to the BFF so we could scream over it together, but even the act of clicking on the profile made me nervous because y'know, there's a chance that he might see who has visited his profile should he ever return back on the site. (My username is the same as my twitter, so genius move there, Vanessa) Since I was too nervous to click (irrational, I know), I asked the BFF to walk me through it, and our conversation was basically a screaming capslock fest:
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?" (Uhm, besides my 'cold hearted bitch' reputation???)
"OK, RIGHT, I'LL CLICK IT IN....AH FUQ IT, NO I'M SCARED"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN, AND MAKE FUN OF YOU IN PERSON"
"I'M SO STRESSED THAT I NEED TO PEE RIGHT NOW"
"WOWOWOW he's like a dream match for you LOL"
"BRB LET ME GET MY PILLOW I'M TOO STRESSED"
"HE'S GOOD LOOKING YOU SHOULD MESSAGE HIM"
"no, its ok i can wait until im 80 to date its no big deal"
(All these are actual quotes grabbed from our conversation, seriously)
Of course, I eventually did end up clicking and screenshotting everything as fast as I could (it WAS LIKE A BANK HEIST), and though this ~whatever this is~ will most likely end up nowhere, I couldn't help but laugh and wonder:
wouldn't spinsterhood be great? how do people even meet people, and in that crowd find someone they like and are hopefully compatible with for extended periods? Hard hitting questions, I know.
Anyways, point of this post?
If you'd like, please share the story of how you met your significant other—(ex)boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands, etc!
Give us single people some hope, will ya? ;)